Friday, May 16, 2014

Honestly

I have a friend who does crafts with her children everyday, another who plays with her children (I mean drinks fake tea and sells pretend goods) all the time and another who has her children at the park every possible minute the weather allows. Can I be honest? I admire these women and I feel like such a lousy mom in comparison to them. Comparison. A dangerous thing we do. I am created differently than anyone else so, I'm not sure why I expect to be like anyone else. I struggle to accept me for who I am. I don't like kid's crafts or pretend or playgrounds. I do those things to the extent I can before I go crazy, but it's a process and I am working on it. I saw an art project on Pinterest that I knew I needed to try. I "know" who I am in my head, but my heart has a hard time always believing the truth about who I am... in Christ Jesus. That's the identity I want to focus on. Not the identity I have as a mom or wife or daughter or sister or friend or the identity I think I should live up to. I can stand tall because of who I really am. So, here is who I am:


This process what a bit tedious and the results are not as visually exciting as I had hoped. I am not an artist in the drawing sense, but it was a fun medium to try and it's a great visual reminder. The instructions I found said to use an ink pad to imprint your thumb on the middle of a blank paper. You then scan the picture and enlarge it until it's the full size of the page. Then using a light table or a window, trace the lines for your text. Easy peasy, right? Well, getting a clear imprint that I could enlarge to that size was tricky. I ended up photographing the print for a clearer image and then I monkeyed around with it in my photo program to get a darker image to trace. It wasn't perfect, but it got the job done. I traced roughly with pencil and wrote in the words. I basically copied a couple of printables I found on Pinterest. It took a good portion of the afternoon, but I soaked in each sentence as I wrote it down. It's a start, a way to get the head to the heart.

There are other things that have been on my heart lately, too. I am a creative being. That's one of the reason I blog. I love doing creative thing and I often find there isn't enough time to express that creativity in the daily grind of life. By the time I find time to sit down and create, it isn't a whole lot of time and it is always in sacrifice of other things. (I don't "do it all". I often neglect dishes or other housework in order to craft. I have also sacrificed time I could be spending with my David after the littles are in bed, or *gasp* ignore, to some extent, my littles for a half an interrupted hour at a time.) Those times sometimes feel "stolen" and rushed and not nearly as enjoyable as I'd like them to be. How to find balance is a challenge. I don't want my children to be tasks that I need to get through until I can do other things. Honestly, I've felt that. I'm trying not to focus on the guilt that comes with those feelings, but to recognize them and turn them over to God for Him to help me sort them out.

Do you want to know something cool?! God is teaching me something new for this season I am in. This season of little personal time and a lot of tasks that need my daily attention. His soft direction is guiding me to find the ways I can use the creativity, that He's put inside of me, in the ordinary and everyday tasks. For example, the daily task of doing Abby's hair. I discovered that I like to try new hairstyles in her hair. Abby likes to watch Youtube videos with me as we research new ways to do her hair. I don't like to do kids crafts, but I like to do Abby's hair. Her gratitude after each new hairstyle makes me want to cry. We've found something to do together that we both enjoy and can spend special time just the two of us, everyday. Abby has even begun to play around doing my hair and we can extend that time even longer. Dishes can still wait!

I am inspired by Princes Hairstyles, but often just play around with the basics to create new styles.

This was a revelation to me! I can turn the mundane into creative time. Do you want to know what I'm starting to be excited about now? Making my littles' their school lunches. Me!? I hated making lunches growing up to the point that I quit making lunches and just ate apples that my classmates didn't want. I've stumbled upon Bento box inspired lunches. This certainly isn't new, but I'm loving the possibilities. Cheese animals... just because! I'm sorry moms, if your child is in Abby's class this fall and wants lunches like hers and you're thinking "Aint nobody got time for that!" I'm making time for that and for other ridiculous things that I never thought I'd do. It's only that I want to enjoy my children and not just endure the preschool years until I can do a "real" job. The truth is, this is my real job and I want to do a good job of it. If I am created to create, then I can create to benefit my family and to the glory of God. By the way, I did an amateurish version of a bento box lunch for Abby this week and she was thrilled. It made me feel great blessing her with something so simple.

So, Pinterest might have new function for my creative researching these days. Maybe less sewing tutorials and more lunch ideas or hair ideas or whatever other ways I can make the mundane extraordinary!


P.S. In case you're wondering, I am not giving up on finding time to do my favourite creative things, like sewing, I am just finding ways to be creative in more ways and more often.

P.P.S If you follow me on Instagram, that's where you can see the hair-do's and box lunches (in the fall).

3 comments:

Jenni Kroeker said...

GREAT hair idea, Coralee. I love that you have found something that you both like to do together. It has had me thinking about spending more one on one time with my kiddos. I tend not to play with mine either, and I think if I found something I really enjoy doing with them it would be... more enjoyable! Thanks for you all your honesty. It's great because I think every mom feels like we could be doing a better job, and it's nice to hear that I'm not alone. Love you xo

Jenny said...

Hi friend. We missed you tonight. I LOVE all of the hairdo's! Hope u r feeling better soon!

Patty-Jean from LittleQuiver said...

Beautiful post Coralee - I love honesty, especially in our supermom blog world! You are such a special mama - I love the hairdos - the true identity thumb print - Encouraging!
what a great mama you are! We mamas are such a patchework quilt of strengths and weaknesses. God's strength in our weakness - a lesson in process in my life!